About Tonga > Rites of Passage > Tongan Funeral

Funerals are of enormous cultural significance in the Kingdom of Tonga. In contrast with the taboos regarding death in Western society, death in the Kingdom of Tonga follows a highly ritualized grieving process.

As soon as a death has occurred all family members will be notified, nowadays often by a radio message and they are supposed to come to the putu (funeral rites).

Gift giving is an important part of the Tongan funeral. The body lies in an open casket the night before burial. Friends and families bring mats and tapa, and other gifts to the funeral. Usually a big tent or shelther is built for the family and friends, where they sit and sing hymns and religious songs throughout the night.

The burial itself starts with a church service. After the church service they will all walk down to the cemetery where the funeral is to be buried. Meanwhile men and boys of the family have dug a grave nowadays the grave is usually sealed with concrete.

Everyone in the extended family has a role to play, particularly the Fahu, or matriarch. Whilst the paternal side leads the proceedings, the maternal side prepares a meal for the guests. Everyone dresses in black and wears a ta’ovala, (a woven pandanus mat worn around the waist). They may dress this way for periods as short as a few days to as long as several years – depending upon the relationship to the deceased.

After a period of respect, the ta’ovala is often replaced by a black armband for men and a brooch of black ribbons for women (for those who are in uniform). As is customary, relatives will cut their hair to demonstrate their grief. The hair cutting ceremony is for daughters and for those who are “liongi” or of lower rank in the family (tu’a), particularly brothers and their children. The sister’s family holds higher rank and does not have their hair cut, as such the hair cutting is carried out by the fahu.

Death of a king

In traditional Tonga the king was (and still is) so sacred that no one may touch him. There exists a special clan (Ha’a Tufunga) headed by Lauaki as the royal undertaker and his men known as the nima tapu (sacred hands) who are the only one allowed to touch the king.

Funeral Attire

The size and type of mat worn by anyone is determined solely by his family and relationship to the deceased.

The large frayed mat signifies the inferiority of the position of the wearer in regards to the deceased. People wearing these are known as Liongi or the lowest relations of the deceased and they are assigned the most menial tasks at the funeral. Their proper place is by the fire preparing the food for all who would be present at the funeral. The mats they wear are usually old, dirty and of a large weave to suit their lowly position. The bigger and dirtier the mats, the more respectful they appear.

A small mat signifies the superiority of the position of the wearer in regards to the deceased. The one wearing this is known as the fahu, a position that affords her the privilege to do whatever she pleases not only in funeral ceremonies but in everything else that involves her brothers and their children. The occasion is graced by her presence and her place is at the head of the deceased. The best of all gifts presented at the funeral is given to her. She is at liberty to dress in any manner she wants. The more humble would normally dress in black but the haughty would flaunt off their rank in every way possible.